The Legacy We Leave: What My Grandparents Taught Me About Leadership
Growing up as one of the few Asian kids in my community, I only understood my personal struggles of looking different, eating different food and having parents who spoke English with an accent. At least I was completely fluent in English. At least I understood the culture I lived in. I was the child of immigrants from Taiwan and had only a vague idea of what it meant to move to a completely new country and live life in a different culture.
My perspective began to change when I received a two-year assignment in Japan, where I didn't know the language. For the first time, I began to understand what my parents and grandparents might have experienced as immigrants.
My grandfather came to the United States to pursue his education, and my grandmother followed with three children, limited formal education, and a new language to learn. Their story is one of commitment and perseverance, but it's also taught me something about leadership.
A leadership legacy is the lasting influence we have on others through the values we model, the relationships we build, and the example we set. My grandparents taught me that legacy isn't defined by a title or a single achievement. It grows through everyday choices and continues as the people we influence carry those lessons into their own lives.
They left me a legacy that continues to shape who I am today. Their story is intertwined with immigration, resilience, and family, and it remains one of the most inspiring chapters in my life.
A New Country, a New Language, and a Family's Future
When my grandparents immigrated from Taiwan to the United States in the 1960s, they didn't have AI to translate everything or Google to explain the unknown. E-mail wasn't a thing and making an overseas phone call cost a lot of money. The only way to stay connected with family in Taiwan was by hand-written letters.
My grandfather left Taiwan first to attend Duke University to get a post-graduate degree in Forestry. Life was hard. When he first arrived, he didn't have enough money to rent an apartment, so he slept in the office where he worked as a TA, a secret only known to him and an African-American janitor.
Once he graduated, my grandfather took a job at a papermill in Camas, Washington. He sent for my grandmother and their three children to join him. My father was the oldest of the three at 16.
The 1960s was a tumultuous time in the United States and certainly for immigrants from Asia I can only imagine the culture shock must have been tremendous. A family of immigrants from Taiwan was such a novelty in tiny Camas that the local newspaper came and interviewed them about it.
My grandfather required my dad, aunt, and uncle to speak only English at home. He believed it was the fastest way to assimilate. "How else will you learn if you don't practice?"
He wasn't wrong, but it wasn't easy. It's hard to express yourself when you don't know the words. It's frustrating when you know everyone around you could understand you if only you could use your native language. It's stressful!
My grandmother understood this and everyone once in a while, allowed the kids to speak Taiwanese if my grandfather wasn't around.
I often wondered what my grandmother's immigration experience was like for her. She didn’t have an education past eighth grade, but she was one of the smartest women I knew. While most of her life experiences will always remain a mystery to me, I know she was strong and resilient in ways I hope I've embodied.
My grandmother picked Effie as her English name, so I called her Effie Ah-ma, Ah-ma being the Taiwanese word for grandmother. Most of the time she spoke to me in Taiwanese. She understood Mandarin and English, but she rarely spoke to me in those languages. And she was fluent in Japanese.
As I grew older, I knew I wanted to know more about her immigration experience from her perspective. I finally had the chance to ask her about it in the summer of 1999. That was the summer I participated in a study-tour in Taiwan, and I went to Taichung to visit my grandparents after the tour was over.
What My Grandmother Taught Me About Perseverance
“Effie Ah-ma,” I said, as I watched her drizzle oil in a wok. Her kitchen was cozy, and the heat from the gas stove plus the sticky Taiwanese humidity filled the room in spite of the air conditioning running at full blast. She had to maneuver around me to get to the fridge. “What was it like to move to a country you had never been to? To a country where you don’t speak the language?”
She pulled out a bag of Chinese watercress from the refrigerator and handed it to me to rinse. She shut the door and looked at me with a smile. She pointed to the wall behind the stove. “I had my English book open up against that wall while I cooked.”
She moved past me and back to the stove. She tilted the wok and watched as oil, shiny and smooth, spread around the curve of the wok. She tossed in some chopped garlic and watched it sizzle.
“Did all of you study English before you went to the US?” I brought her the watercress.
She nodded and tossed the watercress into the wok. If this moment had been a scene in a movie, the camera would have zoomed in on the watercress, then panned out to my father as a teenager in the mid 1960s. The camera would then show him and his two younger siblings crowded around the tiny kitchen table. My grandmother’s voice would be heard off-screen, reading English sentences while the three of them repeated the sentences back to her.
The reality probably wasn't that serene. During that time period, they lived in a two-story home that housed 7 adults and 10 children. My father's grandparents, aunts and uncles all lived there and he grew up with his cousins. It was probably quite chaotic with lots of household responsibilities, and Effie Ah-ma had to be deliberate in pursuing her goal of learning English.
"I took English lessons so I would be ready to move to join your grandfather," she said, bringing me back to 1999.
The building had been remodeled over the years, now a five-story building, but the kitchen was in the same spot. Effie Ah-ma added a splash of soy sauce and gave the wok a quick toss before sliding the watercress onto a plate. I set the plate on the small table, happy she made me one of my favorite dishes: Chinese watercress stir-fried with garlic.
I grew up eating Chinese food - traditional Taiwanese fare like the watercress. I also grew up speaking Mandarin, but my fluency was unremarkable. I majored in Chinese and was a full-time student with no other obligations. Studying consumed my entire life and I still didn't do as well as I wanted. It was enough to make me want to quit some days.
Yet, my grandmother juggled English lessons while taking care of her family and preparing for an overseas move to a new country. Her example reminded me that progress requires persistence, even when it's difficult.
“Was it scary to move to America? Were you scared to fly in an airplane?”
“Oh, I was too busy to be scared,” she said in her self-deprecating way. That Pan Am flight over the Pacific was the first time she had ever flown. But she managed it with three kids in tow.
Children tend to be resilient, but it’s certainly more difficult when they’re older. My father recalled English as the most difficult part of immigrating to the States. Despite having studied English in Taiwan, his accent was strong. It was frustrating to communicate with others. Luckily he had a compassionate teacher who spent a little extra time to help with his English.
It took perseverance, but my father, aunt and uncle all graduated from high school and college in the United States. My grandparents were key to their successes. The opportunities my grandparents worked to create did not end with their children. Their example—and the life they made possible—continued into my generation.
How We Create a Leadership Legacy
1. We demonstrate expectations by what we model
My grandfather was competitively selected to attend Duke University to study forestry. He knew it wasn't going to be an easy path but he committed himself to study hard and earn his degree. My grandmother demonstrated commitment when she fit in her English lessons where she could before she even left Taiwan.
My grandfather modeled his commitment to improving English for his family upon their arrival to the United States. He only spoke English at home. He didn't simply expect his family to learn English; he modeled that commitment himself.
As a leader, people will learn your values by watching you live them. You can tell your team what's important to you, but no one will believe it unless you consistently demonstrate it.
2. We may not understand the whole picture
When I asked my grandmother about her immigration experience, I wish I had been mature enough to recognize how much I didn't know. I wish I had probed deeper into how she felt about living in an environment so different from what she was used to. However, I don't know the Taiwanese words to ask these questions, just as my father didn't know the words in English to communicate effectively with others.
Effie Ah-ma left a home shared by multiple generations and moved to a new country, where the only people she knew were her husband and three children. How did she adjust to raising her family without the extended family members who had been part of their lives in Taiwan? How did she stay connected with her friends and family in Taiwan? What surprised her the most about the United States and how did she deal with it?
And I never had the chance to ask my grandfather about his experiences at Duke University. The few stories I know were passed to me by my father.
All I can do now is surmise what it must have been like for them. It couldn't have been easy, but they didn't seem to dwell on the challenges. Instead, they persevered and found a way to thrive in a new environment.
Leaders frequently hear part of the story and assume they know the rest. Be curious about other people and listen longer. We can hear someone's answer without fully understanding their experience. Listening well means recognizing what we don't know and being willing to ask another question.
3. Our legacy continues through others
My grandfather pursued an opportunity that changed the course of his family's life. My grandmother helped turn that opportunity into a new life in the United States. Together, they modeled commitment and perseverance for their children, who carried those values into the next generation.
My grandparents may never have known how deeply their example would shape my life. That's the thing about legacy: we don't always get to see where our influence leads.
I see their legacy in the way I approach challenges and in my belief that developing others is part of my responsibility as a leader.
A leader taking a moment to check on someone's well-being, to offer a word of encouragement or to ask an opinion is a moment that may stay with that person for years go come.
I can't know how every interaction I have will affect someone else, just as my grandparents couldn't have known how their example would shape my life.
You don't have to witness the full impact of your leadership for it to matter.
What Legacy Are You Creating Through Your Leadership?
I wish I had asked my grandparents more questions when I had the chance so I could understand how much courage it took for them to leave everything familiar behind and build a life in a country where they didn't the language.
Unfortunately, I can't ask them those questions now. But I can carry forward what they taught me: commitment is demonstrated through our actions, perseverance is built one decision at a time, and the influence we have on others may extend far beyond what we ever see.
That is the legacy they left me. And it reminds me that the way we live and lead today becomes part of someone else's story tomorrow.
What is something you learned from someone in an earlier generation that continues to shape how you lead today? I'd love to hear your story in the comments.
A thought-provoking post on commitment, perseverance, and legacy! Your reflections offer valuable insights into the importance of determination and leaving a lasting impact. Thanks for sharing this inspiring message!
Regards,
Mysa York
https://cuddlepixie.com